For those that don’t know, “Hello” is hallowed by the MacFaithful, as it was the first word written on a Mac screen in public back in 1984.

So for Apple to publicise an event “Hello again”, made our MacGlands swell to bursting with anticipation for yesterday’s launch. 

However, instead of an insanely great product all we got were MacBookPros that were, as a very dear friend said, “a bit faster, a bit thinner, with a bit of an iPad glued on”.

Yes. It’s true. A desperate need to be seen to innovate, while desperately not turning the Mac into an iPad, has led to the TouchBar, a programmable bit of touchscreenery where the practical function keys used to be.

This, combined with a supersized haptic touchpad produces an "amazing experience", which Uncle Phil says we’re going to love.

Well, we might do but when the entry 15inch model comes in at over 2,000 of her Majesty’s finest, it’s an experience a fair few of us won’t be loving for quite some time.

Microsoft, having copied everything Apple have done for the last 35 years, have finally conceded Apple’s business model is the superior one and are starting to make the product and the OS and the apps. This resulted in them, the day before Apple’s event, launching the Microsoft iMac - basically a very large tablet that swivels up to be iMac-like and swivels down to be a large table-like tablet. To help use this, they’ve come up with a natty puck-like device they call the Dial.

I tell you, it’s a pucking sad day when Apple get out-Appled by Microsoft.

This Joy of Tech cartoon just about sums it up:

I'm told there will be new iMacs and MacPros with us by the end of Nov. If this is the case, Apple have a fight on their hands.